We have an easy time seeing the hate of others but don't often see it within ourselves. When people that look like us, hang out in our social circles, and who live the same lifestyle we are willing to give them more importance/value based in familiarity and proximity. On the other hand, differences of skin color, religion, and even dialect can turn the same group into horrendous displays of racial and religious bias egged on by the protection of a law enforcement member(s). The actions themselves opens up some basic questions on what other things could be behind these hate based behaviors and how to best approach issues where mental health and ignorance cross the line in an attempt to harm others (nature of behavioral radicalization). Where is it normal and where does it become "bazaar" and worth more depth and explanation?
As some of you know I became a target for a group of ex-sports players (Not all.....but a dedicated group of "in-group" members) because I demanded that someone respect my and my child's boundaries after repeated displays of misinformation, manipulation, and discounting of their racial and cultural value (They actually discounted them in whole but they don't see it that way.). In this discussion its important to remember there are lots of working parts and it will be difficult to grasp many of them just from a single looksie but just keep an open mind. Not all of these members are bigots and racists but they are part of a group that has a significant amount of members that have incorporated distorted beliefs into their lives and how they view/treat others and that is where the bigger problem lays.
I guess it started a long time ago (A couple of decades ago) but I wasn't really around much to know or understand what was going on behind the scenes. As with most conflicts, it only takes one person to get it in their head that all things that benefit them are acceptable regardless of its appropriateness. While in most "normal" situations such behaviors would have been quickly condemned, in dysfunctional groups it was cheered and encouraged because the group members were easy to manipulate and converted to blind emulators. It eventually led to a level of radicalization and pseudo ethnic cleansing behaviors by a larger group of individuals/law enforcement (Doesn't matter if they understand what those terms mean or not.).
The Question of Why?
The socially shared explanation by the group's "leadership" doesn't appear to be an accurate reflection of events and thus its masks a latent variable (s). See Latent Variable Detection in Language. That requires interviews and fact checking. However, it is possible to come to some basic conclusions based on professional and personal know how on some indicators. While mental health often drives the issues most people without training won't see that (Why its important to encourage people to get help before they go on a rampage!). While mental health may be the root cause it was also race and religion that became an easily exploitable tool used to spur heightened emotions of anger among this sports loving community of supporters.
The only true thing group members know from face-to-face interaction (data) with the "targets" is that they know that my children and I are pretty nice (Wow...those dirty Muslims! I'm actually a Muslim-Catholic but they don't know enough about me. Oh and some of the members openly use terms like "faggot" and "niggas" to describe others which sort of indicates the line of thinking of a few of the members. Its just a point to keep in mind when we think of context of why some behaviors became acceptable through prior socialization and mental initiation.). Were friendly open minded people and support our communities. Instead of looking back at what they know (facts of observation) they instead moved toward what they didn't know (malignant data) based on the quickly offered explanation of the ring "leaders".
Important Point: The group anchored back to their racial/religious/ethnic identities to determine the acceptance or rejection of others.
Important Point: Group members were not only open to misinformation but also acted on the direction of others without question.
Context of Contributing Catalyst
Knowledge that significant inheritance was taken and misinformation was spread among the same group 20+ years ago (They were re-enacting prior poor behaviors but to a heightened extent.) Its one of those situations where you knew something was wrong but you didn't spend the time looking at it because you were afraid of what you might find (We know when something isn't "adding up".). I pushed it out of my awareness because I wanted to believe people wouldn't do that; I was too naïve and young then to know the darkness some hold in their hearts.
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1513 Flemish painting describing
vanity, wealth, and misperception.
See the "Ugly Dutchess" |
Then I hear things disappeared, properties signed off (without my signature), and saw how prior poor behavior heightened in aggressive and rudeness once it looked like there might be future opportunities for additional resources (another money source). I'm sure there are likely other reasons they don't want to share because in experience I've learned that they are the type of people who focus primarily on themselves and their needs and don't have a problem discounting people who seem to annoy them in their sense of "entitlement". (
Notice high need for brands, fancy cars that they can't afford, strict social adherence rules, constant comparisons, gossip and put downs in this group.)
When you become aware that people are being dishonest, intentionally involving kids, and showing increased signs of hostility you have to build in some boundaries and it may come abruptly(Meaning any disagreement with them is likely to infuriate because much of it is about control!). I stated very clearly that my children's (and my) boundaries need to be respected at all times (It shouldn't need to be stated and is implied in daily social interactions. In this case bad behavior meant it needed to be clearly stated.). Any parent who cares about the psychological health of their child who have seen displays signs of racism, bigotry and mental health issues needs these boundaries until they better understand the environment (environmental scan).
I'm not sure as a parent what the best option is when lot of disturbing unknowns coming to light at the same time the subjects in question were putting your children in harms way, a mob of sports bullies acting with aggressive posturing matched with a sheriff officer(s) engaging in dangerous intimidation tactics (Really...spend a moment and think about it.🤔 Assuming you are a minority with few resources and options, who should you trust, and where do you go? A history of aggressive and rude behaviors matched with intent. I decided to challenge a larger group of hate supporters instead of withdraw. You may think you have the answer but its different when you must decide things as they are occurring in live time. Some of this behavior looks patterned and there is a high potential it has occurred at other times and with other people. ) Yes I understand...if your part of that sports group and those are your friends you are likely to think "those people" should go away!!! (Is the problem "those" people or the people who act on hate just because one of their buddies told them too? We should come to a clearer picture of the distorted thinking of some of the group members. See Passive vs. Active Ethics)
Important Point: When it comes to hate and bigotry no one is free from being targets that includes adults, kids, doctors, fathers, mothers, veterans/active duty, public servants, etc...
Lack of Checks and Balances
There is indication the officer (s) coached their close associates and friends on how to get people arrested under false pretenses (I didn't get arrested because the other departments corrected when new information was presented that "foul play" was involved.) That is the difference between a good department and a corrupt department. A good department tries to do the right thing and when new information is presented they change course based on critical thinking and available data ( I once offered informally to help if any of the departments needed someone to look at something in the white collar realm. Its a small town and resources are limited. Sometimes police are trained to manage lower level criminal activities but aren't so great at complex financial crimes. That doesn't mean there aren't anyone who can do that but criminals are nimble and complex and bounce things all over the globe. Not necessarily related to some/all of the individuals in question but more of a side note with possible wider explanations of where poor behaviors derive from.).
What I found was that other people were afraid of that officer (
probably why he was attracted to that job) and afraid of to be "rejected" by the "super cool" group (
Indicating the social network has the capacity to warp the local justice system.). Because the "leadership" was popular they were able to down the legal structure of the town through social manipulation/intimidation (
Slightly different meanings.). Its hard to imagine that mediocre sport player (s) from high school (30+ years ago) have rallied to support behaviors that mimic ethnic cleansing (
It doesn't defy logic but it does raise lots of red flags about what else is going on? 🧐🚩🚩🚩 See
Social Media Deep Learning and Language Misinformation Detection Model).
We also found that one of the officers allegedly raped a drunk teen in the back of his squad car who later committed suicide because that officer was stalking her (This is the very same officer that followed me home, asked if I had a gun, flicked lights, pretended to do an "investigation", etc.. There are a lot of other things people in town are saying about that officer that haven't been followed up on. While they could be just "rumors" they come from different sources and are important to investigate regardless of popularity. One of which comes from more fist hand experience and how the officer passed his psyche evaluation as an officer.). I guess, from what I heard, that the underage girl wrote a suicide note specifically naming that officer. I also heard that the girl was then called crazy and unstable and her life and opinion were discounted (Indicating a coverup with more than one person involved. See how we might be seeing patterns? 👃)
Important Investigation Point: There are patterns in some of the behaviors and current behaviors are reflections of past behaviors so looking into potentially corrupted officers records, complaints, histories, and performance is important for uncovering the network.
Who is the "Bitch" ("Super Cool" clubs description of fathers in front of kids.)?
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Notice that information
is changed and lost the further you are
from the central group leading
to a type of mapping of networks.
You can judge position
by who knows what, when they
know it, and how they react to new info!
. DeGroot Model
I wonder if its possible to create an inception of
false information in a group like this
and see how and where that spreads
to map/light up
a "cell" and social media network?
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My sons and I were at a local event where the officer in question abruptly walked up to me pointing and demanded in an aggressive tone whether my cell phone was a gun while putting his hand on his own/side. (
I also heard some of the officers go out and drink with the kids when they uncover parties back in the woods. Might be one of reasons why a young lady may have got raped? Assuming these rumors are true then it would indicate other problems). It appears he did so to impress his buddies/friends standing around who reacted negatively to my family's presence (
I don't know most of them and I don't have a problem with them but its certainly bazaar to have them create issues with my family.). This was the same event where some of the members half jokingly (
always hiding behind the jokes) harassed an Arab school teacher and one of the members yelled out, "Your father is a bitch!" to one of my kids as they walked by (
As a theoretical question. If I heard what that person said to my underage kid and openly challenged those comments would they have felt emboldened to gang attack someone? ...and if their "mob" overconfidence led to public embarrassment would that officer have shot me with the excuse that I was "crazy" and a "Muslim terrorist"? Would everyone pretend that it didn't happen or would they just coordinate a story to another officer that would have been too afraid to investigate it anyway? 💁 Its interesting to think about how a single wrong move could have traumatized a lot of people. Our laws are often subjectively applied and we don't think things like that happen but they do and likely in other places around country. In this case, they just did it to someone who doesn't have the same fear threshold and limited resources as prior victims. I don't believe this is the first time this group has acted in this manner. It would take some prior socializing to push people to act on the behest of someone else to harm targets they have no reason to be upset with. Aggression is in the brain and when matched with the proper social support, immunity and a gun, can do a lot of damage. ⚰🕱☢).
It seems to me that if someone is standing up for and fighting an uphill battle against hate based group behaviors for the protection of their family and community they are not "the bitch" (Highly inappropriate term that likely reflects the powerlessness some of the group members feel. See "Angry White Karen"💪💩). Contrary to this groups beliefs, those that challenge inappropriate and un-American values are the ones contributing to national growth and that takes a lot more courage to be willing to risk life and/or serious injury for central American values than blindly follow the "mob" (Its easy to be a "super cool" stud when you target kids, hide behind a group and fail to step out of the shadows to be held to account properly. Wow...super studs! I think this is the frustration with a lot of minorities that no matter how disgusting people get someone is willing to look the other way.)
It takes courage to stand up for American principles against a much larger group of people who are coordinating with at lease one local law enforcement officer (s) in a way that circumnavigates around our national values. We have to be concerned if laws don't apply to certain behaviors intended to threaten and intimidate minorities and to silence legitimate concerns. (What are they actually fighting for? Because someone "told" a juicy rumor to justify their own bad behavior?)We need to consider how hate is growing in our communities and the factors that turn sports loving people into coconspirators of actions that parallels the disturbing behaviors we have fought against overseas to end (Freud and Markov). In either event, the behavior should be seen as highly concerning and presents a long-term risk to others if not address properly.
Ruined Reputation (Sort of leap leap!)
The intent of the group was to ruin reputations and this is one of the reasons why the central group "leadership" coordinated in spreading false information as loud and as far as they could to anyone who has an open ear 👂(Lots of open ears.). The intentional group "trashing" appears to be a common strategy and a way to damage people who disagree with them and their overarching group. This is part of a defamation strategy that bullies use to coordinate harassment. (Likely why those networks need to be investigated and reviewed to see who else is getting snagged in the bully network. If I was part of those networks and I know some bad stuff happened I might find it prudent to say something soon and minimize my personal responsibilities before my shoulder is tapped. Especially if there are officers involved in these antics. Just a friendly neighborly suggestion.👃👀👥👮) When false information is out you can't put it back in the bottle because people spread, change and share that information further (I think there should be consequences when people's false information leads to risk of violence against families and community members. Again, this depends on how we view "community", their color, rights, religion, lifestyle, etc...)
Lets see how false information and reputation damage can create other real ongoing risks.....
As an example, I asked for a pass for a door that I have used multiple/regularly times prior for a bathroom and no one ever had an issue with it because it was 1.) expected that people use the rest room and 2.) I have a legitimate and official reason to be there. The person was very hesitant to remind me of the pass code (I actually kind of remembered it but forgot one number) and then questioned my bathroom motives. It wasn't their place to question and they had no authority to do so but nevertheless they felt "entitled" to do it! (See how arrogance, social connections and "better than you" mentality leads to other poor treatment by people who know little to nothing about you?)! I brushed the questioning aside but if I would have questioned their behavior they appeared to be the type of ego bloated person to go screaming back to their group to try and cause additional problems for reflecting back to them a more appropriate image of self. (Now that I understand the root of such behaviors I expect in the future I will challenge such questions if they seem inappropriate and let the chips fall where they may regardless of other's poor reaction to having the motives of such behaviors verbally challenged. At that time it was still early in the "unknown danger" category and I wasn't sure exactly what was going on so treading lightly was important. When you don't understand the nature of people's behaviors you wait and be patient and let them act on their own assumptions, beliefs, and values thereby revealing their character and intent. Information + Analysis = Intelligence)
Rudeness and condescending behavior creates a very difficult situation because people are acting on that judgement and quickly getting enraged when your as (or more) confident as themselves and don't buy into their false hate based assumptions about who you and your children are (I am a doctor, served my country in multiple capacities and ways, help my community, firefight, support good causes, don't have a criminal record, am not "crazy", have been psychologically cleared, and do what I believe is the "right thing". This person has no authority to question but does so because of their own distorted perception of importance and how they view and relate to others. Even going to the bathroom can now put you in direct conflict with another associate of clan type "leadership"! Are you starting to see the disease of hate? 😲) Who fixes that and at what point are we now waiting for yet another blow out to occur because the perpetrators "poisoned the well" and ignorant people want to act on it? The question is if this blows out again how will local officials/officers act the next time when they are much much more aware of the context of information used to manipulate them? (People in this situation don't act on their own unless they feel they are "justified" and supported by a larger group. One could ask me if I feel embarrassed by the things people said about me and family and I would like to respond, "I feel embarrassed that people were so gullible to believe such things when what they actually know about us from first hand account is very positive. The lack of principles, critical thinking and their own personally boundaries indicates that being hated by such individuals is a positive testimony to me and my family's character. Thank you for highlighting a few important differences that move beyond race and religion and into the essence of their "soul"/character. In other words, I bore my crosses just by having the "tragic gift" of thinking for myself and being born into the wrong environment. I'm more interested in people who say unique and interesting things than keep repeating O'Doyle Rules!! (Try not to read too much into the video its just to lighten the mood)! over and over to a crowd of blind followers and emulators! Nothing has changed since highschool! 😂 The problem with self-confirming groups is that they demand strict adherence and mute alternative ideas that don't align with "leadership's" opinion. In other words they are the slaves and don't know it!"
What Seems "Reasonable" and "Wise" in this Situation:
It is not about jail time but it is about accountability. The "leadership" deserves jail time and I delayed and delayed because I was hoping they would turn themselves around (while ensuring my children were no longer associated. I had a moral dilemma because I have a responsibility not only to them but also to society. ). They aren't smart enough to take multiple opportunities to get help before they actually push one of their friends to move from aggressive posturing to realized violence! (The initial problem is childhood trauma but excessive over interest in money is an extension of that subconscious and buried pain while hate is from distorted self image and inappropriate patterns of thinking indicating more serious mental health issues are at play.) I don't care about the money as much as I am concerned that they felt it was "ok" to enrich themselves at the expense of others and then lie about it. I'm also concerned about how they manipulated their environment and how quickly people picked a side even without having concrete information (A little like a run away horse.).
What is the most concerning is that at least one (if not more) officers were engaged in behaviors directly in conflict with the Constitution and good moral conscious. We haven't yet grasped how to manage and deal with hate in this country. See Gov Whitmer Plot (At least she is a high profile person with a security detail. I'm just sitting out here with my pen and paper watching the movements of a group rubbing their palms for justifications to act .) and See Capital Riots FBI.
1.) Mandatory mental health for those at the source of the problem. That includes those intentionally trying to hype the crowd as "influencers" If they do well in counseling let them move toward expungement (an option in plea deals). They should not be allowed free pass because they represent an inherent risk to others and have shown their willingness to not only violate the law but also radicalize a larger group of emulators and worshipers (Its almost cultish!). One must wonder how many "blind eyes" does it take before its important to handle. If they can't get help and don't want to put themselves on a better path then jail time shouldn't be ruled out (Empathy with a hard stop.). They deserve much much much more but I have a "soft" spot (Knowledgeable people often see something different compared to others when dealing with mental health in society.).
2.) The sports club should put within their charter and bylaws (Assuming they have one) that discriminatory behavior is not acceptable and will not be tolerated! (Ha ha. Ok...I almost convinced myself there.😆). They should quickly remove and distance themselves from members who are actively engage in hate based behaviors (That is unlikely to happen but at least they can put it in there. The sports club is managed by this "leadership" on an unofficial level.) .
3.) Any coach (or person wanting to be a couch) that intentionally participated in the hate based behaviors not be allowed to coach children and further promote their distorted values onto people they deem weaker (Bullies as coaches generally isn't a good idea. If they act that way when we are watching what will they do to a minority kid that irritates them when no one is watching? Seriously, think about their inability to treat people appropriately and use moral reasoning to think long term about the child's health). Its not passive to be involved in promoting hate behaviors and the dangers to children, along with comments indicate the mean spiritedness of some of the coaches; I'm not sure anyone should "chance" the risk. (It shocks me how some coaches forgot the purpose of sports and push kids to "win win win" without any consideration of their developmental needs. It has also been stated that many of the coaches only play certain kids from their friend networks and the "stars" while rarely playing other kids that might perform better if given "coaching" . I guess you need to be part of the network to have our tax dollars spent inappropriately on only some kids. While it might be a small problem in other places it is a sign that the beliefs and values of some of the sport club members are unhealthy even to their own children. Remember I'm not blanketing everyone here and there are exceptions.)
4.) The officer that engaged directly in the hate based aggressive behaviors be relieved of his/their duties and not allowed to work in that capacity again. We cannot allow officers who actively and willfully engaged in hate based behaviors to use a gun as a source of power to intimidate people/minorities, underage, or the general public when they do not have the social resilience and good judgement to know when and how to act with that gun. "Bad Apples" that commit serious infractions/mistakes that potentially harm others should never be allowed to stay in policing (Protect and serve!). A gun is often the first thing weak people use to terrorize others because the coping skills normal people develop are in short supply and they grasp for external sources of power.
5.) Officers that acted within normal limits but on false information be trained in diversity, critical thinking, legal procedure, and investigation process (Lets make them stronger and more effective!) Mistakes are mistakes! ...and I like the profession of law enforcement, EMT, firefighting and other first responder occupations. 💓💖💘💗😇But let them acknowledge that in training with their pen in case its needed at a later date if something similar reoccurs (In court if you can show that you trained employees/officers on certain methods of handling issues and you support that in your processes and culture then it puts the blame more on the officer than the department. Sometimes the best place to look is in the new hire packets and training materials. Other times its better to just ensure you cover your basics and do a "refresher".).
6.) The Sheriff department should go under temporary Federal oversite (and/or alternative private arrangement). At least until the culture (and there are ways to design culture form a labor relations perspective) from a process, procedure, compensation, communication and expectation standpoint. We might also beef up insulation of internal affairs and connect officers to State and Federal authorities in case future problems arise. I don't want this to reflect negatively on the department or the many great officers it employees. This is a long-stemming problem among isolated rural law enforcement entities without proper resources and access to training. So lets give it to them! (I'm 100% in support of police and reform when its needed. This could be a great opportunity to do something interesting and try out some new concepts researchers might be interested in applying to a whole department. Kind of captive audience but that is how we innovate. We might also consider a regional-US/CAN firefighter/police training facility/yard in the area to teach other departments best tactics for dealing with criminals and finding alternative policing through non-lethal weapons and appropriate tactics training. Depending on where the area heads we might also consider duel use as drone, robotic, and testing facility. Lemonade from lemons kind of concept! Its just a thought...as a way to turn a difficult situation into a win-win outcome.)
7. The children that were involved should not get a free pass either. No record, no punishment, nothing that would serious impede their futures! This is an opportunity to socially learn (and unlearn hate behaviors) about appropriate boundaries with parents, the value of diversity, and seeing consequences for those who engage in similar behaviors (This isn't politics...this is about making them healthy and globally competitive.). They can watch their parents take accountability (to prompt them in case they struggle with mental health someday.) and in turn they should go through some type of formal/informal program to help them be resilient against the needs of others (Remember they are learning.). We don't want that distorted view to gravitate from one generation to the next. See School Bullies and Prevention.
8. An audit of the records of the estate. (Even if they took something...I couldn't care less. Let them keep if its necessary to put them back on a good path. Its about good kharma and love.💗) It was wrong but money is not my driver...never was. However, if something is found and the resources are available then they should be required to pay their debt. I'm not sure someone should be able to circumvent a request for audit/info by using their local police friends to threaten silence. I think their behavior raises a bigger flag and it should be audited and see if there was or wasn't something they are concerned about (I never said their was but did indicate after hiding and circumvention occurred that a forensic review would be helpful because it certainly seems from a "birds eye" view that there is an awful lot of smoke, hiding, and misinformation around this money. If I ask a question It gets quickly circumvented. Sometimes "holes" in information can tell you something as well. Money and outward appearance are a big incentive for this group!)
9. Investigate any corruption (See grey hidden network above.). There are areas in the information chain, behaviors, social networks, and activities that appear to be intentionally distorted and inward focused. While this is more palatable among civilian population it becomes more disturbing when it occurs between civilian and law enforcement personal. Further investigation will determine if the initial officer (s) in the event are connected to a hidden network. See Discovering Hidden Networks. Of course it would be interesting to sort of ignore and track to see how that network grows or changes to something material beyond the bad "kharma" going on but that would put people at further risk. While I support police 100% I do not support "bad apples" or semi-organized criminal behaviors. One might want to look for those sources and access to pleasure and capital such as drugs, extortion, sex, bribery, etc... to determine what activities might lead to the temptation to engage in skimming and exploitation type behaviors. See Transparency International Publication on Fighting Organized Crime (While I hope I'm wrong and its very possible, I think based on observation there is more than just bad behavior going on in the background . I looks more like a closed network of more than one officer and logically traced back motivation based on choice and behaviors. I'm not going to give probabilities because of a number of contingencies but I will say that having a network of more than 3 is significant and if I was to throw on a number I would say about 5 officers might be involved in this shadow group. Hopefully not more. We should ask, "Within the normal course of their jobs what access to other resources do these officers gain?" For example, if they are busting drug dealers do they have access to cash and drugs. A investigation would review how and why they are connected.)
10.. Let the "fence sitters" take notice. The group should see what happens when we intentionally spread false rumors, bully others, engage in ethnic/religious cleansing, and circumvent the law. Their informal networks will let them learn whatever they need to learn (They gossip all day long and in big crowds so you know they will have something new to talk about.🤫). Most are passive supporters but it only takes a few "hot heads" to seek confrontation and make the situation dangerous for everyone. Either way when people act dumb it is doubtful they will feel particularly embarrassed when their blind bigoted assumptions prove to be false (Do you have to be reflective before you can get embarrassed or do we need to look to our "super cool" friends to have a conscious? 🤔 Yuck!🤮)
This sounds like a pretty wise solution based on the known factors at this time (I'm not an attorney or a judge so wise to me might not be legally feasible. If it isn't then our laws might need to change so that the law and good moral conscious can be fused into one. Notice there is an opportunity for everyone to find a path to improvement without allowing that/those officers(s) a free pass while at the same time improving other officer performance.) See Michigan Extremism and Hate Crime Reform and Morality and Law.
Path Forward
My biggest goal is to go grocery shopping! Ok...I mean be visible and be around so people can see me and engage if they feel they want to (Most won't. They were told who they were allowed to talk to and associate with which helps highlight some hard edges in the group structure. Its important to remember the nature of the information was designed to triangulate them to act on the behest of their "leadership". Here is a little something on Triangulation and how it is used to manipulation people and groups. The science stuff is too "sciency" for here and the other stuff is pop psychology. This seems a reasonable explanation.). Mostly because I and others have the right not to be targeted for hate based behaviors and selfish gain I'm also visible because I genuinely love my town and the people within it; even the destructive ones. So my path forward will be whatever I define it as but expect me to be more involved, public, and visible. Hopefully those broken egos can cope with it and not continue to encourage escalation of tension and/or violence and circumnavigate the laws through law enforcement proximity. I can tell that some are just sizzling with anger and stirring the pot and they haven't yet zipped their mouths! 😬.
I'm an asset to that community and I think most people recognize the inappropriateness of this group's behavior. That doesn't stop people from acting in ways that would be considered bazaar and inappropriate in the 21st Century. While I will be engaging and polite to these group members I will not in the future have any problem challenging poor behaviors (Meaning I'm all hugs for friendship but realize some will continue to struggle with a warped world viewpoint.) Likewise, I will not allow myself or my family to be put in harms way and I will treat further aggressive behaviors that appear to be seeking to intimidate or escalate to violence as a threat to my (or their) safety.
Why Continue?
My very presence and refusal to have my red line boundaries violated is a victory against extremely aggressive hate behaviors and radicalized followers (i.e. flying monkeys at behest of super ego). Even if someone (or a group) decide to cross the thin boundary (remember some have already showed intention to harm mixed with highly aggressive behaviors.) it makes no real difference in the long run and likely highlights my main points. Let me give a slightly more rounded view. The vast majority of local people are beautiful and wonderful. Even many within the large sports group are good people trying to do good things, good parents, good role models. Most are confused and thought it best to stay clear of the issue (Very reasonable when you don't know the facts and things aren't making full sense.) The wider community has shown love and support but the members of this sports group have only showed disdain and hate even though not a single one of them can say me or my children did anything to them. It is only a few sour apples that have rotted the values of those around them (I'm pretty sure most of the people in the community know the arrogance, rudeness, and gossipy nature of the "leadership".). I'm trying to slow that rot so we can return our community back to good health with future opportunities and something bright to look forward to (One major employer isn't enough to stop the young from leaving.)
I have children that have a right to visit and/or live where their ancestors came from. That includes me, my children and anyone else in which it relates regardless of the ethnic cleansing tactics of some of the "locals". If you feel this is "your town" and only "white" people are allowed then come talk to me first before putting unhealthy beliefs onto children (That was a major sign of diseased thinking and behaviors.). Perverting the law and social groups for self gain in a way that creates systemic targeting of others (especially as it relates to religious and racial background) is illegal and its a Federal Crime! No one "rules the school" or the town by dishonesty and brutality. There will always be someone out there that will say NO! and hold their boundaries for theirs and other's benefit.
Let me leave you with a couple of pretty good quotes.....
“The purpose of a scapegoat is to pass responsibility onto someone else. Usually this person is unsuspecting at first and agrees because they are trying to get along with others. This technique of passing the buck is very common with narcissists, sociopaths, and addicts. Narcissists can’t allow their ego to be tarnished by an error. Sociopaths do it for the sport of it.”
(I didn't agree...I just didn't know because I believed they were better than that!)
and
"The target that is chosen to be bullied and ostracized from the group is one that is threatening in some way. It could be because they threaten the narcissistic leaders or enablers in their intelligence, appearance, resources, determination, ambition, social aptitude, wealth, independence – or whatever other quality that evokes their envy or fear." The Narcissist Conspiracy
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Old Woman and Young Woman Illusion
Does what you see in me reflect "me" or "you"?
The danger of dogmatic theology.
Figure and Ground |
Confidence and competence can be a problem when the "status quo" of what is an American is challenged. Just like judging a book by its cover it is similarly unwise to assume politeness is passivity (
When you discount others you may be misjudging them based on the mental schemas in which one views the world.). I feel sad in some ways for the larger group of hate supporters because they do not know what they do not know (
They were misinformed but that is how it works when different types of people have weak social boundaries). Their lack of exposure to a wider world limits their ability to see the fishbowl they keep swimming around and around. 🎣🐟🐠 What they see about me is more a reflection of their personal experiences and mannerism of how they approach "outsiders" (
Come on...if your not in the group you have a better perspective because people talk about their "better than thou" mannerisms. Now imagine someone wants something and can exploit others existing bias. We know it can happen.).
A plausible explanation can be found in Gestalt psychology is that the group members have become so keen at judging each other that when someone is different than themselves (
Blacks, Arabs, Muslims, Jews, Hispanics, Asian, different sports teams, different lifestyles, education, etc...) their differences are heightened (
An inappropriate aperture for this type of group.) In this case, it appears the prior patterns have been distorted and used regularly meaning they have "judged" a lot of people without accurately judging themselves through an appropriate lens. See
Looking Glass Self Theory by
Charles Horton Cooley. This is likely possible through poor mentorship and clan values not able to accurately process images of "others" appropriately and in pro social ways. See
Gestalt Psychology: Intro to Neuroscience and Psychology. I thought I was going to have to
Climb Mount Everest (which I might in 4-5 years) for Justice but then I realize I take more risk filling up my gas tank or attending a concert. Adrenaline rush! 😮
Some of us took oaths to uphold the Constitution as the national charter and social contract. We must be like a hawk in seeing where risks arise. There are rising risks of racial and religious extremism throughout our country and this is one potential methodology that can be further explored by researchers for deradicalization (
hate is a social illness and often comingled with other mental health and bad actions.). In case you don't know what is in the Constitution you can see its beginning below. We have a responsibility to expose bad behavior and take action to fix it so that some are not given "immunity" to abuse other Americans as they see fit and are not qualified to judge. Of special interest....
Amendment I (1791)
"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."
Article VI
"The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States"
Amendment IV (1791)The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.
Side notes: *These are not facts nor are they misrepresentations. These are observations based on perception, theory, modeling of the potential for a semi accurate (in the ball park) understanding/construction of events as they have unfolded from multiple data sources and vantage points. In my experience, when I investigate a problem and come to a conclusion I have been more right than wrong (I think others know that as well. My heart is in a good place and I'm competent in my abilities.). The potential for it to be true is way way too high for it to be ignored. Its a way to "see" some of the latent variables that might be going on and explore some potential solutions that can help those with mental health and remove, train, or help those who maintain a high risk assessment. (This isn't a Stephen King book but certainly has the making of it! For the average reader it should send a shiver down your spin about human nature and who some of us have become.)
My line has been drawn (for many more reasons more than defamation alone) and we will see if the group will further escalate their behaviors or reverse course and ask their leadership to get the help they need before they hurt more people in their community (Its precisely the blind support and silence of the group that may have inadvertently emboldened injury to other and allowed people to feel free to join. ) This is not false judgement and what I'm saying is the truth as I see it. The group leadership told me specifically why they and their blind followers were targeting my family and that was because we are "Muslim". A "blind eye" here....is blindness everywhere.....and our future as a nation will rest on overcoming extremism in our home towns just like this. I will not allow coordinated bigotry and intimidation to have any impact on where I go, what I do, the clubs I join, etc... While many of these members are worried about how they look to each other I have bigger responsibilities than copycatting ignorance. Now that the wars overseas have ended maybe we can focus more on helping our fellow Americans see that hate and hate groups will be challenged and bested; over and over until their distorted values are no longer mainstream. 🥰
Why would I go through all the trouble? Two kind of things going on here. I'm an empathetic (in opposition to sociopath) and altruistic person and gifted which makes me highly focused on justice type issues and fairness in our world (I have a history of acting on that to help others and believe I have done a lot of good for people. ...and with enough time even for this group.). In addition I rank high on different categories in Gardner's Multiple Intelligences indicating advanced multi-potentialities (The same with people like Benjamin Franklin, Leonardo Da Vinci and Ibn Sina) and a triple minority (I bet few know that) and very curious so I just can't help myself😏 (I don't know...I find something interesting and I try and understand it.). Personality is relatively static while experience isn't. I have the same personality since childhood so not sure what everyone's problem is? 👶 (but...be honest...we understand!) While I likely followed different developmental paths based on my natural Bio-Psychologic-Social factors outside the bell curve I'm a pretty good person. Furthermore, I feel a sense of particular loyalty to certain American principles/values and have at least once thought, "Who else is going to do it?" and "How shall I use these tragic gifts?" I hope that solves the puzzle/question of "why?" I'm not really that interested in being "super cool" because I am who I am. 🤷 leap leap! (Sorry leap leap is an inside joke for important reader(s). Don't read too much into that either.)
I would like to go stare at my high school sports jersey from 30+ years ago but I have a few things that need to get done. Sports is interesting. There are so many kids not getting a shot that have heightened latent abilities that exceed the "star" performers but only needed the right "coaching" and an opportunity. If we play the same kids since grade school (before they were developed) and then treat them like they are "performers" we miss out on some of the exceptional. I was a kid with one multipotentialities that included Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence but didn't have the full opportunity to tone those skills in childhood because of environment. (With mastery of skills the "gifted" with advanced intelligence can get into the optimal flow of "in the zone" performance. Each of the intelligences have a flow such as intellectual or emotional as well likely in combo with multipotentialities. Researchers are not 100% sure of what it is but I would suspect it has something to do with the activation across multiple neural networks to enjoy the process of matching advanced skill to challenge. One of the best layman's view would be Sherlock Holmes at the end of his fight scene where performance relies on prior practice and natural advanced ability. Time seems to stop, things get slower, and speed and accuracy increase and you just know what is happening while its happening because you "feel" it.) We can't develop the gifted unless they have experiences that come from coaches that do more than play their friend's kids over and over . Their lives are qualitatively and quantitatively different putting them easily at odds with their environment and subject to all types of jealousies and comparisons.
Let me leave you with a few thoughts. Good people would have bailed on the hate leadership a long time ago while bad people will double down on their support. That is the danger in our society of allowing radicals to pervert and dominate our communities with intimidation, "clan" values, and perversions of justice. Its time we tackle these issues in our country and draw Democrats, Republicans, and "Americans" to our most central values as a nation. At present it looks like we have leadership that is unwilling and/or unable (I hope I'm wrong) to stand for some very basic principles that transcends generations and strikes at the core of who we are. The proof is in the pudding when the dust settles and we want to decide what kind of nation we want to be and whether we get "bested" by nations like China. For now it appears they can't see the importance of maximizing our human capital and protecting the rights of all Americans. A good sign we need more enlightened leadership across both parties. Its not hard....its just foot dragging.....and I say that as a conservative. If they can't solve "home town" problems when they are "in their face" please lets not elect them to national leadership where their ineptitude impacts a lot more people (its not party specific.).
