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Sunday, June 7, 2015

Tips on Being a Professional “Beach Bum”

Spend a little time on the beach and you will see a class of beachgoers that spend a greater portion of their day on the beach. These are the people that surf, jog, volleyball, lay out for hours on end. A few beach bum tips will help you shed your power tie in no time.

What is a professional beach bum? It is a person who spends most of their free time on or around the beach. Some may commute to the sand, but most live near the ocean. They are the locals that you see early in the morning and late at night when everyone else is gone.

Ok...I will probably never be a real “beach bum” but spending more time on the beach is hopefully in my future. A few hours a week won’t do much but may get me to beach bum “poser” status. Even if I don’t have the time, at least I can look like it.

The first thing you notice is that beach bums don’t wear the latest fashion. They are casual and come to realize that expensive clothing gets lost, dirty, or ruined. Why wear a $500 pair of glasses if you are going to sit on them?

Professional bums chronically are engaged in coastal activities. Their lives revolve around the beach, and they spend every moment they can outdoors enjoying the weather. You can see the deep-toned tan on their skin.

Beach bums either own a junky van or use alternative transportation. Commuting bums take their rusted out van, packed with gear, to the beach early and find the best spot. Locals don’t bother to drive because of traffic and prefer to bike or skateboard around.

Beach bums frequent the places far away from vacationers. If you want to be a be a local you have to stay away from expensive tourist traps and spend your time in the local dive bars and diners. Every beach bum knows the best 99 cent taco hot spots.

If you are likely ever to be a professional bum you will need to have a beach bum personality. Time is measured by the sun, and the outside world ceases to exist. When there is so much sand, the hourglass ceases to work.

It may take some time to learn how to be a professional beach bum, but you can do it if you practice “nothingness”. As you graduate from vacationer to local you will notice your persona change from the stuffy to the stuff less. Few things matter much on the beach other than how much time you have before you have to return to ordinary life.

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