Thursday, June 16, 2022

Interacting With Those Who Spawned Hate: Consideration and Long-term Solutions

Hate is a powerful motivator and I want to be fair and not overly harsh. We are in a small town and those who caused the problem and I are likely going to interact again at some point (Its nearly happened a few times. I'm not going to have a choice in the matter and I'm not going to avoid it or limit my life for their behavior.). It should be noted that this wasn't a small spat of someone cussing me out. I could go on and on with a laundry list of things that were inappropriate but it ranged from financial gain all the way over to being targeted by their close friends and local police corruption (Most of the police are good and the one's outside of that social network I have developed positive relationships with.). 

Their supporters and those they manipulated to target me and my kids (They devalued them/me and put them at risk of which in some ways we are still dealing with), super cool "sports group" are huddled somewhere in a corner and I haven't seen them lately. They are likely hanging at a local golf course club. There have been a few smaller incidents of rudeness but nothing over the top (In some cases they didn't even know it was me but its part of their aggressive self-entitled sports culture. Also why I think its important to ensure they are aren't teaching young kids they are coaching the same values their parents hold. There were complaints by others and observations that indicate that is at least partially true). Where they did know it was me there were some levels of snickering and mocking (I don't react but take note.)

So I can't say with 100% surety that this won't be another problem a few years down the road when they feel comfortable to engage in aggressive behaviors again. I can only go with what I feel and those feelings are somewhat subjective even though there are factual supports/observation to them (See I'm not a radical. I know what is more fact and what is more subjective but likely the best explanation.). What happened here was not normal and a downing (Nearly complete except for some quick reactions and some good natured officers/officials/people.) of the local justice system because 1.) the aggressors were popular (and of course the "right" race and religion) and 2.) we were the "outsiders" (...again based on race and religion and self interest. We actually have a genetic history in the area longer then most of those targeting us but as with all "third world type thinking" that makes no difference in cleansing behaviors.) 

My hope for punishment for them was that they 1. have the records audited (...part of the reason why they justified hate through self interest and how they in many ways manipulate others for that gain. Whether we are seen as "dirty" Muslims or not or whether they view my kids as "nigga" babies I don't think that justifies theft and potential violence.) and in turn have mandatory mental health help (I went and checked myself out and was given a green light and they should be required to do the same. Their rage indicates there are lots of other underlining issues. It would be helpful to them and helpful to us.) I have not had to change my recommendation because its justified. One could rule more harshly and that would have some legitimacy as well but I'm a softy.

Do you see how radical "Muslim" I am? 1. ) I want them to be held to account (they can actually keep the money if they stole it {preferably donate it to abused kids and/or orphans} but it shouldn't be swept under the carpet. My kids would probably need those resources but again they are Black so it is what it is in our current state of affairs. If your the wrong type you will likely understand the truth within the truth and why we must change. No punishment necessary. Just let them know they can't hide it and someone will look and shed light on some of their motivations.) and 2.) require them to go to mandatory mental health because that is the best way to help them, resolve future problems, and come to a resolution. Someone might ask what I think we should do with the sports loving hate group? I don't know. Maybe someone popular should tell them the coolest thing now days is to jump over cliffs without parachutes (Ok...sorry I don't actually believe that. It would be funny if I didnt actually feel a percentage of them would try it if thought they would get a group kudo/gold star for it. How about we tell them the "coolest" thing to do is be adults more worried about their own lives then doing the flying monkey bidding of others). What else can you expect....I do have a "Muslim" sounding name? The extremism of it all!!!! 😏

So I should not expect not to see them around town. In many ways I don't expect justice will happen (even though I think it did in some ways) but that their behavior was very dangerous and highly targeted (Not a good situation). One wrong move and my kids could have lost a father, lives could have been ruined, and lots of other bad things could have happened. So far I just get the feeling they are shrugging and saying "Who cares its "those" people?". So I can't say any real learning has occurred (I do believe some of the police departments that were initially involved realized quickly they were fed false information and they learned and adapted positively. That is a good thing and restores trust. Some of the others associated with that initial group who have heard the "rumors" are polite but non engaging.)

I can only say the last time I saw one of initiators they started being manipulative and talking louder in what appeared to be an attempt to 1.) manipulate an older person (i.e. looks like a money and embarrassment issue) and 2.) to put me on notice they can continue to cause as much problems as they want (I'm open because I'm not sure after everything they are still doing that. I can only say that the behavior is indicative of either not understanding the gravity of the situation, mental health issues as it relates to constant manipulation, or some other issue.)

I have no facts in the sense that 1 +1 =2 exactly. We are dealing with a group issue pushed by a few people who can gain from it. This isn't a normal situation. Only one person came out to tell me why they were doing this and the rest sort of acted without telling me why (I have seen a few of their kids and they seem to feel genuinely sad and remorseful their parents are like that. There is hope for the next generation. 💗). So I can only interpret information based on factual observation (without necessarily stating they are facts but reasonable partial conclusions.). If you asked them they might say, "We just don't like him.". There are lots of people I don't like and I'm still polite and dont coordinate group hate. Likewise, I believe it would be hard for anyone in that group to pin point where I (or kids) have done something wrong to them and in most cases they don't know me. This is where we sort of have to go back around to the "dirty" Muslim and "Nigga baby" beliefs.

Right or wrong I have no idea. What I can say is that I will have to somehow get accustomed to interacting with such individuals in such a small town (its bound to happen) and thus far it seems that when we do see each other they engage in what appears to be aggressive type behaviors (sour grapes for a foiled plan). I have not experienced any remorse from them or their social group. Most of the other people in town have rejected their racist/bigoted rhetoric and have been welcoming (Told you is a beautiful place worth investing. More investment will likely provide exposure to this group through new types of people that come visit, stay, work and raise their kids. There is lots of opportunity and love here. Inadvertently they exposed a problem that can now be addressed. Its a little like opening the wrong Forest Gump box of chocolates. However, they may have done similar things in the past when someone in their group has a "problem".  Maybe not! 🤷) We are the ones who absorb the risks (In the back of my head I cringe at my kids coming to visit. They have been pulled over in an unmarked police car and I have been followed. There are a lot of risks to them being the wrong color in a place that seems to be highly influenced by a distorted sports clan {Most are good but don't have healthy boundaries}. That will likely be overcome soon and they can come visit when they want.)

I recognize group hate and extremism is something we don't yet have a handle on (Depends on how you define these behaviors.). Its not something we completely understood 10 years ago and now as a nation we must find a path through it (Kind of why I'm writing about it while trying not to be too specific so as to protect individuals while not sugar coating what happened. I do have a right to protect myself and my kids if I feel there are on going/future risks. ). If nothing else there will be a huge paper trail if someone gets the "bright" idea they want to remove the "problem". Time will answer all questions. No one ever said freedom is free. We all must sacrifice to keep the flame burning. Most of the time it's just standing for what is right.  Something some of our leaders should consider over the next few years. For now I need to buy groceries and do my other chores (Other then a few small incidents it doesn't seem to be a problem to do that anymore.)

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