Workplaces and social gatherings can be notorious for workplace dramas and issues. Learning how to avoid drama can lead to higher levels of work-satisfaction and productivity. One of the biggest career breakers is a persons personality. While some of this stems from natural social interaction others come from dysfunctional personalities.
Let me give you a scenario. An employee began to repeat things that others were saying. In addition, without being respectful of private conversations he would say the horrendous things about his bosses and other employees. If you acknowledged his concerns, even out out of respect for him, he would take pieces of the conversation, twist them, and repeat them.
In most cases, the things he repeated were his personal beliefs and comments that had little reflection on the actual conversation. He had a hard time recognizing the difference between his and others behaviors. He was a high conflict narcissist that created drama wherever he went and whomever he talked to.
People like this you will never have any positive dealings with and should avoid as much as possible. They will manipulate their environment based on deep fears and resentments and twist words to triangulate conflict around them. With glee they excite themselves from their behavior and in many cases thrive off of it.
If this sound like a situation you have faced in the present or past consider some good tips:
Tip 1: You will never change how their behavior and how they think because it is deeply embedded in their personality. You should create distance.
Tip 2: Try and keep in contact with the people he has manipulated in order to keep the lines of communication open. Triangulation works only when people don't engage in constructive communication.
Tip 3: Take notice of the conflicts they create with others. You will not be the only person they have engaged in this way. They will do this as a pathological behavior pattern. When they are done with one situation they move onto the next creating a wave of destruction.
Tip 4: If the situation becomes ridiculous, consider contacting your HR department. They won't likely be able to do much but they can take note of the behavior in case other people come forward.
Tip 5: When meeting others that give you the sense they have a problem take notice of their clothing, car, behaviors, and self-perception. If they are a narcissist they will show the signs of their own delusional self-importance.