Saturday, July 18, 2020

Intentionally Damaging Children to "Teach a Lesson"-Hate Crimes

The saga and story continues to unfold as we move forward. One of the biggest blow outs was the lack of boundaries and intentional manipulation of children. While I became more aware of missing money from an inheritance I didn't mention it to anyone because 1. I didn't know what it all meant and 2. It wasn't the most important thing to me. However, when my children were being put in harms way and there was intentional manipulation that looked like it was damaging them I couldn't just stand by and do nothing.

Let me say that if we don't have the right to protect our children then we have no other greater purpose. I have no idea what dysfunctional values have made their way into this group but I can't find a different bottom line than protecting children. It shouldn't matter what is going on in our lives or disagreements we are having the exploitation of children isn't the answer.  So I said "NO!"

That didn't go as well as I planned. Not because enforcing boundaries wasn't wise but because I was unaware of the bigotry, hate, and mental health issues in play. Telling someone "no" with narcissistic traits, surrounded by overly socially conscious, does not bode well for minorities that can be singled out as "different". The community made it very clear that people like us are not welcome, children will not be protected, and they are willing to express their disdain publicly with no recourse

I can only say that when these things happen you take pause and think about all the destruction and hate. Intentional misinformation designed to do as much damage as humanly possible. Taking all of that rage and focusing it on children seems way out of line. However, there are those I'm sure who question nothing the perpetrators say and giggle and snicker as though they will receive a little gold star from their friend group for being what would be considered in other places disgusting.

In hindsight I can say that it was under the surface and their were red flags I didn't see. I tried hinting that they were acting inappropriate and shouldn't say certain things to help change the trajectory they were on. My children were reacting to intentional manipulation. For example, one of the parents was going to rent a room for a concert in Wisconsin (across state lines) for some of the kids to go to a concert. However, the children were under age and I'm not sure it was wise to do this so I told my son he couldn't go. The parents exploited this to cause some mayhem.

Yet that wasn't the only thing that was going on. Another person promised they were going to teach my child how to shoot a hunting rifle. My children weren't raised with guns but if I was going to go with them and shoot at skeet or cans then that wouldn't be so bad. He intentionally raised my child hopes for over a month and then after I bought their plane ticket at then end of the summer told my son that they are going to do it the next day and that I should change the ticket thereby dashing his hopes. I asked this person specifically not to mention it to my over enthusiastic child until he is ready to go...he did the opposite.

So in some ways I was becoming increasingly aware that this group of individuals meant to do some harm. In some of the cases, even their children were being rude to some of my children. I was naturally concerned so when my son started to further react and one of the perpetrators started sending me text calling me names I stated loud and clear you will no longer violate my, or my children's boundaries. If you want a relationship you can't intentionally be destructive and damaging to us.

I can only say unbridled and uncontrolled rage made its way onto the scene....

Instead of giving my son the respite he needed they targeted him more utilizing as many people as they could muster. They even used and exploited their own children as proxies. Overwhelmed him with text of hate inventing, creating and saying whatever came to their mind they thought would do the most damage. My son reacted and began to take a nose dive. No remorse and respite. Worse, they were soliciting one of their law enforcement friends to put pressure on me.

In my wildest dream I can't image that protecting your family by telling someone "no" would be grounds for a false investigation launched by one of their friends. That officer has a long history of inappropriate and unreviewed behavior that is well known in the community. I suspect there will need to be some review of their file and deep dive to figure out what other things this officer has been up to.

Needles to say, I began to create as much distance as possible and that empowered them more. My ego and the need to protect my self esteem or integrity wasn't in play at the moment. I needed distance between them, my children and myself for the protection of our family. The more we backed away the more destructive they became. Their friends giggle and engaged in a coordinated harassment campaign so that no matter where I went if I came across one of their friends I was pointed at, laughed at, stared at, and show aggressive behaviors. The same group of  teens turned adults sports playing friends that never really grew up from highschool.

So I can say there is so much to this story I cannot possible write it out in one setting. I can only say I don't care what people think about me because I have an obligation to my family, myself,  and to others (including minorities) that became targets. It also seems that we have an obligation to stop hate and bigotry but we just say that in public without taking action where it is needed. I'm not asking for people to go to jail. I'm asking for people to get the mental health help they need (jail as an alternative for people who don't want help) and make amends for the what appears to be criminal behavior.

I suspect the more I write the more people in the community will become proxies (at least this has been the experience so far). I don't know whether I'm being a fool or I'm displaying leadership. I can say that something deep in me says what happened here is wrong and it may not have been the first time this has happened. Thus, it appears that if no one stands up to do the right thing then these bullying, racist behaviors will continue without account, investigation, or resolution.

Wouldn't it be great as a nation if we can learn that hate is limiting our nation's full potential.

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