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Monday, July 20, 2020

Circling Back to Damage a Child and the Cost of Betrayal-The Discounting of Life

My story continues on and it is an important one for society to learn. I have come to face and see my world without the rosy glasses and idealism that has been part of my outlook for as long as I remember. I used to think people want to do the right thing in all cases, that justice was something we all agree with in society, and that people had the best intentions for others. Through very tough experiences I learned that isn't true in all cases and even the protection of children is not a universal concept if they are deemed different and less worthy than other children.

In a previous post I discussed my son taking a nose dive with all of the text, conversations, lies, and manipulation being sent by a group of adult and child bullies. I created as much distance between the perpetrators and my family as I could. That need for distance included not going to a social club I enjoyed (a number of problems occurred there and I will explain in another post) as well as certain events and blocking anyone who sent me a hate message or supported the perpetrators in any way.

I'm not sure if that was the right thing or not but I can say It seemed like the most prudent way to create a protective barrier. However, as long as they had my sons phone number they were going to to continue sending test. But I felt that if I take myself out of the picture they would send him less messages. That isn't exactly what happened.

My son was struggling and it isn't fair for me to explain to what extent or the details of this (I will explain it to any law enforcement official that wants to hear it). The mother and I had the same impression our child was in harm's way and we had concerns that serious damage was being caused. As a matter of point, the mother, even though we have not been together for decades, enjoy a strong relationship and a universal love for our children.That is a testimony to our willingness to work together even when we disagree on some things.

She was more concerned than I was and wanted to take more protective action. At that time I'm still confused by what is occurring and I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around such hate. I needed some help in understanding so I talked to someone who dealt with local racism and informed her of my son's struggles and asked her not to tell anyone because I fear that the perpetrators will lean in on him more. She promised.

I was wrong. I admit I made the mistake in being too trusting. She went and told them and I feel discounted the value of my son. With this new knowledge of my son's struggles the perpetrators contacted him again trying to cause more issues. He reacts again and I realize "this is very serious, they are going to really going to damage this kid". Its that moment when you realize a person would push your son over the edge and then blame someone else, something else, and walk away.

Later my son confides as says they text a lot of negative stuff about their father to him. The things they they texted him were grotesque, designed to cause pain, and used as a method manipulation. I wonder what would drive someone to try and push a child who is struggling and I realize that I may not be dealing with normal people and normal behavior. I can't find any logic in it. It started to look like something sadistic and part of sociopath type behavior.

So when there is no logic to a persons thinking, or that logic is distorted and the information is distorted, I believe that it is an emotionally driven response. Hate and rage against people who are different, even if it is for ego reasons, should never be accepted in this society. Children are supposed to be sacred. It isn't always the case and we are not always willing to protect them if they have a different creed or race than ourselves.

I think about it and even now with all the destruction and damage I do not hate them and I wish them no harm. Yet I do wish them accountability and I hope our justice system will stand up and do the right thing so that this doesn't happen again. It seems similar things, even worse things, may have happened before and yet no accountability has been brought. My door is open to any law enforcement official that would like to discuss the details of events.

There is still that part of me that says the more you talk the worse it is going to get. Yet who would I be, and what type of American can I claim myself to be, if I don't at least make some small contribution to our society. I'm not a perfect person but I am empathetic and a sympathetic person that wants to help others who may be struggling with the same types of issues. I can do that through telling my story and ensuring that criminal behavior is held to account. If I would have lost my son, or other people would have lost theirs, what kind of moral obligation would I feel in hindsight then? We need stronger legislation to protect the victims of hate crimes, bullying, and coordinated harassment. I'm not asking for any money, and I'm not asking for a personal apology, but I am asking for accountability and a change in our thinking. Why is one life worth more than another's life?

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