In real life people don't not always have an inner compass or concerned about the rights of others. While the majority of society sort of follows standards and codes of conduct, there are others who seem to violate them on a regular basis. While bullies feel they are entitled to whatever they want they are masking deeper pain and this presents an opportunity. Typically, they are looking for targets so they can feel better about themselves. They also receive the rewards that society gives them...up until a point!
Why is Bullying Bad in the Workplace and In Life?
Society runs by certain rules. If someone is not attacking you and they are living their lives in a way that doesn't bother anyone, they should be allowed to go unimpeded. Bullies don't see it that way! Whether for physical or psychological gain they attack a target and disrupt the course of life in an unfair manner.
Why People Should Encourage The Bully to Get Help?
Bullies not only disrupt life they also damage people and relationships. Because Bullying is a pattern of behavior that has been learned over life and through deep pain they naturally are not going to stop. A single person could damage 10 or 20 people in their lifetime with no regret. With help they can discover their own personal pain and work on it so they don't project it onto others.
What Drives the Bully?
Bullies are driven by lots of cognitive dissonance (the image they have of themselves vs what the world sees) as well as pain (inner emotional turmoil that wants an outlet). There is a psychological benefit by projecting pain on others. They wish they could hurt themselves but find it easier to attack others. The more pain and disruption they create, the more powerful and lowered dissonance they receive. Their inner hate also leads to depression and other mental health issues.
What is the Bully Personality?
Bullies come with problems and issues that they are having a hard time overcoming themselves. You may not know it but they are suffering on the inside. Unfortunately, they infect other people around them with their toxic behavior and try and isolate anyone who finds such behavior inappropriate. They are often addicts of one type or another as many of the same mechanics that push them to be a bully also push them to hide their pain in alcohol or drugs.
Why Are Passive People Also Guilty?
Society owns part of the bully problem. If you see a crime and don't call the police or take some type of action you allowed the behavior to continue. Bullies only do things because others around them accept that behavior. Bullying is a social affair and anyone who either engages in the bullying or doesn't encourage the bully to stop if they have a reasonable opportunity to do so is also morally guilty.
Who is a Bully?
Bullies can be kids or adults, men or women, American or foreign, etc... Those bully kids in high school don't grow up to be mature adults without working on themselves or getting help. It can happen at work or it can happen within families. It could even happen in retirement facilities or churches. Wherever there are people their is also the possibility of dysfunctional personalities. Bullying is a toxic negative lifestyle that can impact anyone.
What the Bully Does?
Bullying is a method of control and projection. They lie, triangulate arguments, encourage collective bullying, isolate people, "snub" them, and act superior. There is an inherent flaw in their character that doesn't turn off hostile feelings that would allow more rational minds to move forward. Their core assumption about their worthlessness is covered by feelings of superiority that help protect their fragile egos from the truth. The key to discovering bully behavior is to look for damage, manipulation and control.
What to Do?
Remember that a bully is a weak person on the inside that feels pain and can't process that pain effectively. Each bully hides their pain and shame with anger. One wrong word could set them into a rage. They deserve a little empathy for their toxic plight but not at the expense of your safety. Standing up is important but don't get angry and engage in a battle. Stand your ground and disengage because bullies are very unlikely to stop once they get started. The self-reflection that represents highly developed adults simply doesn't exist here.