Monday, September 17, 2018

Why Patience is the Key to Interpersonal Relationships

People are sometimes very difficult to work with. They have needs, desires, opinions, values and much more. Sometimes we jump to our own conclusions and other times other people jump to their own conclusions. Our brains are often pre-wired to come to certain conclusions based on our past experiences.

This means that when conflict arises we should stop, not react, and wait for more information when it is helpful. Certainly there are times when people must react quickly but for 95% of the cases simply reserving your response is a powerful statement.

People who are emotional responders are also very traumatized. They yell, scream, get angry and attack. What they are not good at doing is finding the best way of dealing with situations or find those paths that will lead to the best result.

While personal conflict is inevitable with groups of people at work or home it is not acceptable as a standard way of interrelating. There are some people who react and get dysfunctional trying to lash out at others around them. Some always have drama around them.

It should be stated there are a lot of people like that. If you get into an argument with them there will be little to no rational thought. They will seek to perpetuate the conflict, manipulate, lie, and create chaos around them.

They will seek to draw people into their arguments to gain "converts" to a cause. It makes no difference if you, them, or something else caused the problem. Their inherent nature is to be destructive when they feel slighted.

Reacting to bad behavior fuels the problem. They feed off of it and likely you are not providing them with the best responses that are most beneficial for you. By not responding, delaying your response and thinking, you can shift the power structure in the conversation and reserve judgement and actions for a later time of your choosing. Sometimes the best response is to say nothing and give space.

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