Monday, June 19, 2017

Handling Rude Behavior and Hidden Motivations

We are human and each of us has motivations to accomplish certain things within our lives. Sometimes these are our goals along while at other times we may need to solicit the help of others. Despite this there are a rough and tumble few that push their agendas on others and it is beneficial to understand them in order to know how to handle conflict before it arises.

Reasonable motivations are natural and are not a major concern for others. People who are healthy are honest about their needs and can express them openly to others. They don't have hidden agendas or personality flaws that get projected to people they are in contact with. Having insight into their motivations can lead to greater bonding and better alignment of goals.

However, there are those who are not so honest and have deep seated motivations that may not even be aware of. For example, someone with low self-esteem but hasn't grasped the origins of that issue might project their attitudes onto other through rude comments and destructive actions. Others may know exactly what they want but their goals are socially unacceptable.

Having a problem doesn't mean it is anyone else's problem and when you are the target you have a right to defend yourself, demand the behavior stop or cut ties. Knowing when to do this is more of the difficult part. A single comment can be forgiven, family should be confronted with care, and strangers should just ignored. When poor behavior is persistent then a few ides are warranted.

- Make sure you set clear boundaries between yourself and others.

-Consistently rude behavior should be confronted. Discuss the issue politely at first. If that doesn't work ask them to stop. If they fail, then create distance between yourself and them. You have the right to be respected in all circumstances.

-Have the confidence to not allow other's agendas to thwart your own goals.

-Find shared goals and motivations when possible.

-Continually develop yourself so that you can improve and become more aware of how others think and develop.

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